Captain Trout

Meet Trout, the fishing guide who has spent more time on the water than a trout, but has a catch rate that’s rarer than a sober pirate. You might wonder if he’s fishing with a rubber lure, but don’t ask him that unless you want a belligerent response. Despite his lack of success, Trout is always happy to take his clients out for a spin, and he’ll make sure you don’t crash the boat, unless there’s a particularly attractive rock in the way. He’s got a knack for hitting them, but he’ll spin it like it’s all part of the adventure. You might want to bring a helmet, just in case. And if you’re lucky enough to catch a fish, Trout will act like he’s just won the lottery, even if it’s just a minnow. He’ll give you tips on how to cook it, how to mount it on your wall, or how to use it as a good luck charm for your next fishing trip with him. With Trout, you’re guaranteed to have a good time, even if the fish aren’t biting. Just be warned, if you start singing sea shanties, Trout might join in, and let’s just say he’s no Celine Dion.